Okay. I cannot sleep and it is already an hour that I am driving out with some thoughts. I was planning how I can build a bed. Well, there are many options like with Pallet FI or just transforming the simple bed that is already there. The point is that I want a sofabed for two. And the ideas are many. It is not impossible. Just I need to discover how. I will measure the room, or let him measure it, and then when I will be there I will just find the right pieces. I will need another mattress or huge sofa pillows... This will be nice. Then a pouf. A grill. A cupboard. A multiple chairs with a table but I think I prefer something on the floor.. like japaneeeeeeseeee ahahah. These could be used like balcony chairs, but I have to count that everything will be placed in 12m². Decorations because I am a fantastic and original person. A clock. A hanging wardrobe.. like that you can fold it and put it in your luggage. That was for the room ...
And then You drove out my thoughts. I thought that probably yes I will give you a hug, but it will unusual for me. New people for me means distance... Till some point. I am not used to touching people very often, especially those who are new in my life. Only when I have gained good confidence I "open" my touching part. Let see if my attitude with you will be different. Let see if I wanna eat you XD Not kidding. I eat people that I like. XD Okay I could write for hours and hours and hours especially to you, but at some point, you will get tired and annoyed and you will throw a pillow... And then begins the fight! Wii I miss pillows for the room! Write down, pls. Tks. :) It will be really a small life there, but the best things/experience are the unexpected ones and the best is thriving out something from something impossible and realize that is wonderful. I think we are that kind of people. We are wonderful ahahahaha. Okay jk.
Okay it is almost 5 and I am already dreaming breakfast, but for that, I have to waaaaaaint till oma is awake and prepared and cooked. Till 8:15/30 basically. She does always a Muesli bowl... That means. Little bit of haferflocken with Honig, geschnittene Obst that now is Apples and Mandarinen, and Kerne.
Mmhh wow. You know, the time that you spend with someone could be too long, too short but also infinite. Now I feel an infinite one. With infinite possibilities, words, memories, feeling aso. Just stopped frozen and quality time. I don't remember if I told you that I three my book away, deplorevole, ugh. It was one of the best ones! And I throw that away! Never mind, I was learning from that book. Good written and well, fuuuuuull of written emotions. Actually do you like reading? I remember something like yes but I am not sure... but for sure with me, you don't have many choices XD And do you ever read aloud? I love it. There are many things that I love, actually, but the voice of someone, that is concentrated to read, full of intensity and colors. Also, especially in different languages. Like I were a kid. I loved to read aloud with the kids and especially with Filip, I think it was with them that I started to read German aloud and well you could imagine how much my love for the german language increased. I love German and Germany, have I ever told you? Ahahaha XD Right now. I am happy. Really happy. I could not desire something more. It is this happiness that is spread in your body just from a simple thought; this soft and kind one, that makes you smile and see things differently. It is a happiness that you cannot control because it is not controllable. And it is huge, immense, warm, and warm feeling. Like a gentle wave that embraces the sand. Ohhh I would like to be at the seaside right now. I remember I piece that I wrote, one of those really great, memorable, full of memories and classic (-al?) at the same time. It is in the blog. I really appreciate your interest in this blog, well at least now, then you will read something and then you will forget it. Maybe, like everybody else. But never mind, I wrote and I am doing it for myself. Maybe it is why I never show it to them, I mean, they are not interested in this stuff.. even if I wrote it. They will probably appreciate it, but I never wrote about them or about what they like, so why they would listen/understand. And then I will read them just once and everything will stop just for some little time, but I won't do that again.
Better, and I find it super, that sometimes they gave me ideas about new themes or people or facts. I love talking to them about everything, reach a point of view, theirs, and keep in mind some of their old suggestions. They are pretty old people, okay middle-aged, hahaha, but I think they are amazing. It is amazing how they accept me. Completely different, completely understandable, completely new for them. Exceptional was the way how my mother evolved. She changed completely since I left home. Different attitude, quality time with her, point of conversation, and lifestyle, she really surprised me. Well, but was a hard choice, I mean, let your daughter go, alone. She told me always that mothers give birth to their child, but these ones are not the property of mothers. They will do their life and their choices. She had to accept me so or she will lose me somehow. That wasn't a choice for her I suppose, so or so, and she adopted completely my way of being.
This written is pretty long.. hehehe. I didn't want to turn on the light and take my book that why I am talking to you directly, well more or less. You will read it. I am sure that right now you are in a cozy, peaceful, and wonderful dream. Und your comfy blanket and with your head on your super huge pillow.
Btw1. Will you meet your friends for sure tomorrow and Sunday, right? If not, just let me know. And Btw2. I will probably start to look for some spots or trails to have a nice walk, sleeping under the stars, and eating marshmallows.
Btw3... You know, I don't feel that we are apart. It is just so.. okay in person is different, but when you only have good talks with someone and good interaction, I think you can feel something also behind a screen. Like you were physically near each other. I do not if you got it, but just to inform you I love it in case you haven't notice it. And also. I pure love THESE Moments. These moments of pure and simple happiness. Like you were special. These moments make you special.
Okay, it is an hour and a half that I am writing. Wow. Oh. You know. Something that I find important and nobody asked me about. Or nobody actually was interested. My interaction with my family. Well Alex knew them, and I had a really good quality time with him, but something missed. Sometimes happened that when you are in a relationship you don't notice things for what they really are. I mean I make u an ex. I talked with him about them and he visited them but I don't remember he asked so many questions or curiosity or was actually interested in my life at home. This was the moment in which I argued with him. I told him that. No words came out from him. And pls if I will ever be angry or I will argue with you, pls tell me your opinion. I am not an angry person, actually, I don't get angry easily, I prefer to discuss the stuff that is boring me and find a solution. I do not have any reason to be angry. I think, but anyway. So I think this is something ... That comes with time, I mean, you could be together with a person and do not know anything from h* or the opposite. But I prefer anyway when you can openly talk with someone, can be myself, and the other person is interested in you, in who you are, what you will be and how you think.
Probably many will call that love. How you love a person makes a huge difference. There are a looooot looooot ways of seeing love, to feel it or just to call it. I wrote about that last day. This could be an exceptional ex. about how people see things or name these. Or what a name really means. Love actually could be everything... Or nothing.
Between good friends or mother-and-daughter relationship. But it is not always so... I think in all the cases and possibilities that I have to describe what love is... I cannot make a concrete example.
Well.. it is difficult. People feel differently, and like many other things, my opinion or what I feel will be always different from the other ones. Things are undefinable. Especially in this case. There isn't a definition of love. But I will be interested in finding an expression in some other language that truly means that. Well, this was a thought of my friend, actually, giving me feedback about my writing, but I agree. Completely. I let her read sometimes what I write and in particular, nowadays I can have with her really quality conversations. Btw. It is true. We don't know a word to express love. How.
Birds are twitting outside and the firsts lights of the day are coming up. 6.17am. 2h of writing till now.
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