#neverforget

 Hey, big bear!

I do not have many words to spend here, you know.

I am really glad to share my thoughts with somebody that appreciates these and encourages them. Someone that asks me more and inspires me to do more. I have always hidden a part of them, trying to adapt my thoughts to others' views or just keeping them for myself, most of the time. I said once to somebody that he grew up too fast, well right, but I was really growing up so fast. I never realize it completely till now. I had always this spirit to evolve, to think, to explore myself. Mum called that "making up complicate things" but it is not so. I am just curious to know more, to think about different possibilities to do something, to consider things differently: I am curious. 

I think each step of life means something special: something that you could learn appreciates, discover or live. Recently I opened my mind, even more, getting confidence: I understood better how to listen to people, how to catch a glimpse from them, how to breathe, and catching energy ...

We are energy: We have to share what we have to create more and more energy from that. For others and for ourselves. If we confine ourselves into a glass we cannot improve and grow, only if we go out of our little world we can expand. Too many people are keeping the lid closed. I am protecting myself to not get hurt, I know what does means. 

To be clear: I am not judging who is not like me, I can only understand them. Everyone needs time, emotions, and confidence. Everyone is different. Everyone lives differently.

I WILL ALWAYS THANK THIS POSSIBILITY THAT LIFE GAVE TO ME.

Thank you big bear.

L.

👇 continue to Ella

Ella:

I am very happy to have the possibility to talk to somebody that can see further. Nobody till now consider the possibility to accept me. You didn't doubt. 
I will help you if you will need me, please, ask whenever you feel comfortable. Laura knows that it is my first time that I speak to somebody directly. You accept it without understanding it, you wanted to ask me directly something, you just tried. Laura thought you were mad at the beginning to want to ask me something like was impossible, unusual, and crazy. No, for Heaven Sake! I am not a p. BUT I am here. 

A little part of myself silly and crazy ... you, person-soul, disappear for a bit!

👇 continue to the real conversation

Real conversation while writing with her... I put comments inside her thoughts and I irritate her. She made me leave only the part above BUT I will put also the original version down. 

Ella:

- I am very happy to have the possibility to talk to somebody that can see further. Nobody till now consider the possibility to accept me. You didn't doubt.
° (Ella, do not forget that R. tried it. He wants to understand you, for so many years he accepted the fact that I am not crazy, please do not forget that. It was and is important.)
- Yes, but he never accepted that without leaving his understanding apart. He won't understand something understandable. He cannot do it.
° (You are not fair sometimes...)
- Confront the two boys and then you will realize it!
° (I know there is a difference, but you have also to learn NOT to judge people, Ella.) 

- continues - "Ella is REALLY touchy!" 

- An by the way little human, Alex tried also to understand, but if you have already forgotten, he never asked about me. At all. Like I wasn't a part of you. 
° Remember once R. asked me if my Man should be okay for both of us and not only for me. Now I saw his question very much clear. You care about it! What do you want actually? You cannot have a relationship with somebody!! What do you want from me?! 
- Do not forget that I spoke to somebody... yes I can have a friend... or somebody for me. That I care of. EXCEPT YOU!
° What a fuck are you talking about?
- Sometimes you cannot understand me, you know, and you talk about others... 
° WHAT I should understand? You? A voice in my head?
(R. suggest you could have been neidisch, only now you tell me that? Why I have to understand your stuff without knowing anything and you do not just tell me what is really important for you!! You do not know anything and living on the heart is pretty much more complicated with you in my head, you know that?)
- YES, because I can understand YOU!! God, you are a real little person, somedays!
° We are sounding crazy ...talking to nobody ...

- WE ARE NOT CRAZY, at least NOT ME!!!!!!!! 
° FINE, JUST STOP.  Leave me alone.

I will help you, Miguel, if you need me, please, ask whenever you feel comfortable. Laura knows that it is my first time that I speak to somebody directly. You accept it without understanding it, you wanted to ask me directly something, you just tried. Laura thought you were mad at the beginning to want to ask me something like was impossible, unusual, and crazy. No, for Heaven Sake! I am not a person BUT I am here. 

° Just a sack of luck! Nothing more.  Du warst gu gelaunt und du hast ja gesagt... I looked like a witch or someone crazy...